“When I first realized this was happening and that I was having feelings (for women)," said Chrissy Gephardt, “my first inclination was to hide it. To me there was no option. It was not even something that I would've considered telling my parents or even doing."

Yet a life locked inside a closet, she discovered, was dark and gloomy. As time went on, Chrissy realized she had to choose her nonexistent option: she had to come out.

“It got to the point where I was just so miserable and unhappy," she said. “I thought ‘I'm living my life for everybody but myself, and I need to be honest with my family.'"

But while she knew the truth would set her free, she feared what her confession would do to her family. Telling her brother Matt, a software engineer, her sister Kate, a teacher, and her mother Jane, would be nerve-wracking.

“One of the biggest fears I had was jeopardizing his career," she said of her father, who rose from a working-class background to spend 26 years in Congress and serve as the House's most powerful Democrat.

Chrissy's concern for her family was not unique among the Gephardts. Dick Gephardt understood that his daughter's sexual orientation would be widely publicized throughout the nation - particularly when he made his 2004 bid to become the leader of the free world.

“There's no way to not have it come out (in the campaign)," said Dick Gephardt. “I said (to Chrissy) that if that's a problem for you, then I'm not going to run because I don't want to hurt you."

Gephardt was one of nine Democratic candidates who ran in the 2004 Presidential primaries. Many Democrats, whose electorate stronghold is on the two coasts, hoped Gephardt, a native of St. Louis, could entice middle America towards his party.

When the Iowa caucuses - epitomizing Midwestern sentiment - rang with support for Massachusetts Sen. John Kerry, Gephardt withdrew from the primaries.

“It may have affected a few voters, but frankly we didn't get the result that we wanted for a lot of other reasons that were more important than that," said Dick Gephardt.

“Now would it have (impacted the election) if I had gone on and gotten the nomination?" asked Dick Gephardt. “I don't know the answer to that. Obviously the Republicans in the general election put gay marriage on the ballot in order to bring out a heavy number of conservative voters. I can't say it decided the election, but it did have an impact."

The war in Iraq, homeland security, gay marriage, and the impending appointment of new Supreme Court justices were incendiary issues that drew activists from both sides of the political spectrum to the polls in November 2004.

Recent political debate has witnessed more than just the hot-button hypothetical of gay marriage. In the last several years, politics has gotten increasingly personal. Democrats in the mid-1990s informed the American public that Newt Gingrich had a lesbian sister. In the 2004 Presidential debates, John Kerry expressly reminded the voters that Vice President Dick Cheney's daughter was a lesbian.

“I think (John Kerry) was just stating a fact that he felt was well-known," said Dick Gephardt about the 2004 debate,“and he was, in fact, commending the way they (the Cheneys) had dealt with this situation."

“I couldn't understand what the big beef was," said Dick Gephardt. “I wouldn't have had any problem with somebody bringing it up in a debate that I was in."

“I told Chrissy that you love your kids, that's the first and most important thing in your life," said Dick Gephardt. “If voters don't like that or they react poorly to that, then that's the way it is and there's nothing I can do about it."

When asked why there was no mention of Chrissy's being gay on his 2004 Presidential campaign Web site, Dick Gephardt replied, “I haven't really visited the Web site and I don't know what it actually says."

“When I was in high school, there was no such thing as a gay-straight alliance," said Chrissy Gephardt. “I had never even heard of it. Now it seems to be commonplace. We're seeing more images on television of gay and lesbian people and it seems to be common, whereas Ellen (DeGeneres), when she came out in 1997, it was kind of a big deal."

The father and daughter team add to that public exposure as much as possible, appearing in television ads sponsored by Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG).

“We want to get across to people our experience," said Dick Gephardt, “because we think it can help others who are trying to deal with this and having trouble with it. Sometimes I think that if people in the public eye can do this and it's successful and (they) feel positive about it, then that gives encouragement to others."

Chrissy also hopes to “normalize the experience of having a gay child" at Tuesday's talk, though she ties that into her equal rights advocacy.

“We're nieces and nephews, we're aunts and uncles and grandparents," said Chrissy Gephardt, describing the pivotal message she wants to send out. “We're law-abiding, taxpaying citizens who want to be treated with the same rights as everyone else."

Her father's legislative track record shows him advocating for exactly that. As House Majority Leader, Dick Gephardt stood out for opposing President Clinton's “don't ask, don't tell" policy requiring gays in the military to remain closeted.

“Gays in the military was not a politically successful outcome," said Dick Gephardt, “but it did educate people. I think a lot of people had no idea that gays or lesbians ever served in the military."

Gephardt also advocated federal recognition of state-sanctioned civil unions among gay people. He endorsed domestic partner benefits for gay and lesbian federal employees. He supported gay adoption, cosponsored the Employment Non-Discrimination Act, and cosponsored a bill that would allow United States citizens and permanent residents sponsor their gay or lesbian life partner for U.S. residency.

“I'm sure it's not a popular item with everybody," Dick Gephardt said of his bill to keep immigrant partners together. “If you're going to treat people equally, the fact that they're gay or lesbian shouldn't be a bar to being able to use the existing immigration laws about marriage to come to the country."

The Democratic base is divided on gay rights issues. Dick Gephardt, the first person in his family to graduate from high school (and college, and law school), is said to symbolize the rural, Midwestern, working-class Democrat with traditional, religious, socially conservative values.

Yet Dick Gephardt feels his party platform should not strive to balance the social agendas of these two Democratic factions. He hopes the Democrats progress forward as ardent advocates of gays and lesbians.

“When (Democrat) Lyndon Johnson signed the Civil Rights Act in 1965, he said ‘there goes the South,'" said Dick Gephardt. “You can argue that's pretty much what happened since 1965," said Dick Gephardt, acknowledging the Democrats have lost their working-class, socially conservative base in the South. “But in my view, in order to be a successful political party you have to have beliefs, you have to stand by those beliefs whatever the consequences. If you stand for the right things, eventually it will work out politically."

Dick Gephardt believes higher diversity in voter turnout will compensate for voters who deflect from Democrats because of the party's for gay rights.

“The Republicans have been very successful on getting a base that will vote on single issues? most importantly, pro-life and guns," said Dick Gephardt. “But they have also been good at? working their adversaries, and I think that's what we need to do. Republicans have been good about working African-Americans, Hispanics, gays. They realized all gays don't think alike. (Gays also) worry about taxes, as much or more than the social issues."

Both Dick and Chrissy Gephardt say they are optimistic society will increasingly embrace the gay identity. But in the end, Dick Gephardt acknowledges, the legislative future of gay equality depends on who turns out to the polls.

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