First the wacky title: the film was named during a Hollywood happy hour party, the objective being to develop the worst pitch imaginable (not that that's a bad thing- it's how Guns N' Roses came up with the opening riff to “Sweet Child O' Mine”). Also, Jackson reputedly only accepted his role as FBI agent Nelville Flynn because of the title; at one point it was to be changed to Pacific Air Flight 121, but he insisted they stick with “Snakes.” Finally, some scenes of the film were re-shot to incorporate material anticipated by Internet movie fans- particularly to include a specific profanity that Jackson is known for.

I say this with love for the cinematic medium and all due respect to Samuel L. Jackson, but really- this is a dumb movie. I didn't think it was possible, but “Snakes on a Plane” is every bit as trite as it's rumored origin would suggest. The storyline is predictable, the characters are shallow clichés, and the effects are ridiculously unbelievable. Of course, in the right frame of mind, “Snakes on a Plane” is also really quite enjoyable.

This is the kind of film that makes me miss Mystery Science Theater 3000- it would be so up their alley. “Snakes” has everything one would hope for in a MST3K movie: an embarrassing role for a major star, bad performances from the supporting cast, a ludicrous plot, and crummy looking effects. Individually any of those qualities could sink a film, however when combined correctly they can elevate a project from bad to laughably bad: “Snakes on a Plane” is such a film.

In “Snakes,” Sean Jones (Nathan Phillips) woodenly witnesses a mob hit carried out by overacting crime boss Eddie Kim (Byron Lawson) in Hawaii. Sean is woodenly rescued by Flynn, a typical movie maverick FBI agent. Sean must woodenly testify against Kim in LA, so Flynn roguishly commandeers a 747 flight to transport Sean across the pacific. Unfortunately Flynn, Sean, and a cavalcade of stereotypical passengers are put in jeopardy as Kim attempts to kill Sean by filling the plane with (you guessed it) dozens of poisonous snakes.

The plan is to trigger the snakes' aggressive tendencies by coating the leis given to the passengers on the flight in snake pheromones, thus inciting them to attack everyone on the plane. If Sean gets bit, that's great for Kim, but overall the idea is to off enough of the crew so that the jet will crash before it reaches LA. Sure enough, midway through the flight the snakes are loosed upon the plane, and in a short while a number of passengers are consumed by the ophidian menace. The remaining few team up with Flynn, Sean, stewardesses Claire (Juliana Margulies) and Tiffany (Sunny Mabry), and co-pilot Rick (David Koechner) in a desperate attempt to survive their slithery adversaries and land the plane.

Since I've referred to them as clichés and stereotypes, I should probably explain my comments on the supporting cast. Of all the minor players, no one comes off better than Juliana Margulies- she has the good fortune of playing the most dramatic role of the film, and the good sense to play it seriously. Sunny Mabry is decent as the dizzy Tiffany, and Koechner manages to out-slime the snakes as the sleazy co-pilot. The rest are hit and miss: also on the plane are a finicky rap mogul (Flex Alexander), a spacey heiress (Rachel Blanchard) and her Chihuahua, a snooty businessman (Gerard Plunkett), an earthy mother (Elsa Pataky), and so on. They all remind me of Janeane Garofalo's critique of the movie “Speed”- they just loaded anyone on the bus they could drag out of central casting, so why not put an Eskimo out there too?

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