Achild is born. His parents have so many wishes and expectations of him. Theysend him to a good school, watch proudly as he graduates. Then the next stepsare a professional degree and a great job. What is left to complete his life?Marriage, of course! And then what happens when the child reveals to his parentsthat he is gay?

Pansy, Queer,homosexual, person with alternate sexuality - terminologies may have becomepolitically correct when it comes to referring to homosexuals, but haveperceptions really changed?

AliPotia, 28-year old - a corporate trainer, freelance writer and an avid travellerhas, what most of us would enviously call a "rocking" life. But backhome he has to contend with the nagging pressure of marriage. He's kepthis sexuality a secret from his parents though for the rest of the world he is"completely out of the closet". His parents don't suspectanything. He says "My mum loves my friends. She even goes shopping withthem." Ali broke the news about his alternate sexuality to his parents onthis episode of Life's LikeThat.

Ali speaks straight fromthe heart when he says, "I have an issue with the word homosexual.It's so clinical. It describes a condition. It sounds like gonorrhea! Iprefer referring to myself as a gay man, only because I don't want to beclassified as someone who has ‘sex' with members of the same gender.I want to be classified as someone who ‘loves' members of the samegender. And that's a very important thing tome."

JournalistNitin Karani is his parents' only son. After coming to terms with hissexuality, telling his parents was the next rocky path he had to tread. He hadalways been very close to them and so he couldn't hide such an importantaspect of his personality from them.

Nitin's parents found itdifficult to comprehend what homosexuality was all about. Their first reactionwas that marriage is the only ‘cure'. His dad took longer to makepeace with this aspect of Nitin and still carries the hope that Nitin will comeout of this ‘phase'. Nitin says, "My father tells me sometimes- find the confidence. What he means, I guess, is the confidence to be with awoman. But I want to tell him that it takes more confidence to accept what youare. Everything doesn't happen the way you want, and life is likethat."

Web Developer Rudrawas equally honest. He admitted that not only is there a lot of pressure onhomosexuals to keep their sexuality a secret, but they also have to contend with"internalized homophobia" (Generally labeled "internalizedhomophobia" many men and women of homosexual orientation experience someof the same negative attitudes towards homosexuality as their heterosexualcounterparts).

Says Rudra,"I don't think there is a necessity to come out in the first place. Does aheterosexual man come out and say I'm heterosexual? It was difficult for me tocome out to myself in the beginning because there was no literature. When Istarted understanding it, it was when my peers, my friends, would sit and theywill see a girl walking by and say well. she's nice. I wanted to turnaround and say well, I find you more attractive. At that point I found out thatI am different."

Homosexualswho haven't come out of the closet are an easy target for blackmail. Theylive under the constant fear of being exposed to their family, and so would goto any lengths to keep their sexuality from being revealed. Lawyer Usha Andewarand activist Jasmir Thakur recount incidents where homosexuals were blackmailedfor large sums of money.

Andhow has the media portrayal of homosexuals changed? Onir, the director of‘My Brother Nikhil' talks about the difficulties he faced in gettinghis film financed because it had a homosexual love story.

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